Psychologically, people see and are reinforced by patterns. Kids are the same. Hence why those who were abused are most likely to abuse, and it seems with the genepool we have nowadays, those that can rise above faulty parental programming are very rare.
To go off of Ash's example...in my late teen years, you could tell the personality archetypes of my brother and my dad were very similar, and mine was vastly different. Both would bitch and complain a lot, always be angry and yell when frustrated. Me, on the other hand, would rarely yell unless something REALLY pissed me off.
The difference: Whenever my dad or by bro ever came home in a foul mood, myself and the other person took them about as seriously as seeing a supreme court justice walk to the bench wearing a barrel and syuspenders. The few times i came home seetinging, despite both of them being a lot more stubborn than i can be (for those that know me, this is no mean feat), would tread lightly.
The point: Within everyone, you condition behavior in response to how you behave--and if you stray from that, something's wrong. it's *why* ideally, you should use corporal punishments sparingly. Not only do they lose their effect if they are used too much, but it also put the psycological connotation of dominance on it, which needs to happen in some cases, but you're also opening yourself up for as challenge to the dominance, which can get quite violent in some cases (especially if, say the child is more physically dominating at the time), and also, there's a small chance that the child may come to enjoy it (being a switch in the BSDM realm, this is not necessarily a bad thing, per se, but if your punishments aren't a deterrant they don't do anything).
it's why, psycologically, you pattern a certain behavior for normal that is about as far from the punishments as possible.
Goodbye Callisto & Skaši, Hello Ishara:
2022 Kia Stinger GT2 AWD
The only thing every single person from every single walk of life on earth can truly say
they have in common is that their country is run by a bunch of fargin iceholes.
Good call, summed it up pretty well i must say
Im not trying to sound like a bitch, all im saying is IN the end just like keeper said the yelling and hitting will dimish the kids respect for you. a constant yeller or hitter eventually the kid will grow how i would say "ammune" to it. Hence why i wont yell at my kid unless need be and i wont hit my kid unless its something REALLY BAD. A simple thing such as ignoring her and showing her she will not get my attention for throwing a fit or whining is a great punishment. Or taking her FAVORITE thing away from her makes her clear up her act in point 2 seconds. But again thats just my kid some kids are differant and need differant punishment i still see no reason for yelling or hitting all of the time.
Lots of good points in this thread, and i'd have to agree with most of them...
growing up my dad hit me once... and i mean hit, he back handed me across the face.. i dont rember what i did but i rember him being very upset afterward and did alot to make it up to me... after that he never rasied his hand or voice to me, and i kinda wish he woulda atleast yelled at me or something, my dads very laid back, never says much about anything... whenever my mom would yell he'd tell her to leave me alone, etc etc... who knows i might of turned out a little better, might of done a little better in school or whatever... who knows...
^^^ Read what I said about striking a child in petulance.
If you were just being an annoying ankle-biter, then he probably got a bit gun-shy (so to speak) of corporeal punishment. I'd not be surprised frankly... When you realise that (it's called a moment of Hubris) some people can get that way, and as long as you're acting within a certain limit, it's no big problem, no reason to lash out.
In that case, physical abuse stopped early, but it never stopped affecting the abuser.
Transeat In Exemplum: Let this stand as the example.
Quote:
It's not about fighting back, it's about training your child in the way that they should go. I have yet to meet ONE child that was spanked accordingly, not beaten to death, who has any problems adjusting to society.
I absolutely agree with this and with a lot thats been said. I was raised in a family with constant yelling and fighting, but no real physical abuse. Some might call that verbal abuse, but in retrospect it was by far the most effective on me personally. Yes I was physically punished when I was really bad, and I will do the same to my kids. Physical discipline is essential, no optional imo. Abuse is just that, and has no business in discipline in any shape or form, don't get me wrong.
