Riceboys!!!
by Cdog

You know you are a Ricer if........


...you find yourself using the excuse
'yo, but you gots twice as many
cylindas, du' after EVERY race

... you drive a 4 door 'type R'

... your gumby pants make it hard to
shift

... more than 20 of your mods involve
sheilding whats actually
underneath

... you have stickers that even most
asians don't get

... you have stickers for parts you dont
have

... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'

... your car has so much camber it can
drive on its side

... when you drive by, WWII veterans run
for shelter

... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times
the inner muffler diameter

... you have 'power by' anything
anywhere on a car made by the engine
manufacturer

... birds make nests on your spoiler
because its taller than the trees

... you sell crack for the image...not
the money

... you have 'N/T' polished on the side
of car and you dont know what
bracket racing is

... you will only race if the other guy
removes four sparkplugs

... you can't race uphills

... you have "All Motor" emblazoned on
your rear hatch right next to
your 15.50 dial in

... you brag to have nitrous and have a
14.50 dial in

... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is
bigger than most Pro-stock cars

... you spent more money on stickers and
stripes than your parents paid
for your car

... you go to a performance shop and
immediately start rummaging through
the decal bin

... your tach is bigger than your head

... you have a shiftlight and your car
is an automatic

... you refuse to race it at races
because it's a "show car" and at car
shows you refuse to show it because it's
a "race car" 

... your only mods are cut factory
springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip

... at Autocross events you don't
participate because you have a drag
race setup and at drag events you brag
about kicking ass on
the autocross.

... you have more lights on the front of
your car than the USS Voyager

... you brag about a turbo kit that
never seems to get installed.

... your exhaust sounds like a dying
Moose

... your bright green $300 air filter is
bigger than your engine.