Newbies Almanac wrote:Again, welcome to JBO. We hope you enjoy your stay here.
Then each year you have the inevitable flood of newbs to every service at specific times of year:
- September, for the beginning of the school year and all the super-duper "IRsmrt" college kids and their shiny new Dells checking out the internet through the school's network and getting on all of our nerves. Moving from their 14.4K dialup at home to a dorm network must be a nice change, but really should come with an owner's manual. Higher bandwidth doesn't make you smarter, or more of a majority. It just makes it easier for you to annoy us more.
- I HATEhateHATEhateHATE Christmas on the internet. Good god there aren't words for my disdain for the Christmas swell of n00bs. That's because everyone and their grandmother is getting a shiny new Dell and thinks they're Johnny @!#$ Mnemonic because they can figure out how to plug it into the phone line and stick in an AOL CD. Those morons usually pollute IRC, forums, newsgroups and file sharing services well into February. I swear if one more toolbag sends me a message on WinMX offering me "those illegal Metallica MP3's you can't get anymore" I'm gonna send them up the bomb!
- Don't even get me started on Valentine's Day. The afore-mentioned Christmas idiots on their shiny new Dells think I really need to have every email with a heart, puppy, angel or baby in it forwarded to ME. I don't know who started that @!#$, but they need to be strung up by the short hairs.
- Spring Break...what can I say? Not EVERY kid gets falling-down drunk in Daytona. Some go home, and while they're there they tell Mom and Dad about how their computer isn't up to snuff, or whatever...and head back to school with a shiny new Dell (see above). Lather, rinse, repeat.
- June. Oh, god not June. It's graduation time. Little Timmy just graduated high school and Mommy and Daddy decide that he's been SO patient doing his homework on the family's 486SX all these years...so it's time to give him a shiny new Dell and cable internet service to go along with it. Forget Johnny Mnemonic...this 17 year old brain surgeon is ZeroCool and just hacked the @!#$in Gibson! No chat room is safe. No forum has enough moderators. No ToS is off limits. It's the end of the world as we know it
- The middle to the end of the summer...FINALLY, a break. This is the time of year when the sun is out long enough each day to remind these dolts, trolls, dweebs and newbs that there is actually a life OUTSIDE and some of them actually do something with it. It's just enough of a break for us to collect our senses in time for the beginning of the school year and start all over again.
Racing - Street Racing bad, race tracks good. And that's all I'm gonna say about that
Fatalic CAVI wrote:
Sorry dude, but homemade and nitrous don't go over to well with me.<br>There are certain things you just shouldn't be cheap with,<br>like: condoms, toilet paper, chinese food and nitrous kits!