Newbies: An Owner's Manual - Newbies Forum

Forum Post / Reply
You must log in before you can post or reply to messages.
Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Thursday, October 20, 2005 3:42 PM
Welcome to The J-Body Organization.

Where to begin? Well, as of this writing, there are over 29,800 members on this site, hundreds of thousands of posts in tens of thousands of threads. There is an incredible amount of information out there, and a very capable search tool to get to it.

We know you have alot of questions. That's usually how people wind up here, by searching Google, Yahoo or some such site for answers. Rest assured, your answers are here, and it's not even that hard to get them. The key is searching. JBO has been around for alot of years and has seen a lot of newbies with a lot of questions. Look to the left, and you'll see links for the Library, FAQ pages, Chat and other resources. You've obviously already found the forums, since you're reading this.

An important thing to remember in the forums is that "the training wheels are off". Sometimes when you ask a question, the responses will consist of "SEARCH!" and "n00b!". It's nothing's just that some questions get asked and answered 100 times a day and it DOES get kinda old, especially when searching is so easy.

Now let's cover the most common questions asked and important points you need to know:


Sport Compact Pro / RacerX - If you have to pay for your "sponsorship", it's not a sponsorship. Period. It's a "Sams Club" for car parts.

How do I get sponsored? - I can't tell you that as I've never even tried to get sponsored. There are many other people on JBO that can help you with the actual process. THIS THREAD is an excellent resource. However I can tell you a few things that will make your life alot easier. Getting a company sponsorship takes alot of work, time and dedication. If your car is currently still stock, don't even ask. If you don't have an effective proposal or business plan, you don't stand a chance. If you only want a sponsorship so you can be cool and say "I'm sponsored by so-and-so" you might as well put the idea out of your head now. Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not knocking you, your car or your ambitions. I'm just trying to give some realistic advice from someone that has seen alot of people try and succeed but seen many more try and fail.

I'm not even going to try to outdo one of of our long-time members on this one. Art Pittman, AKA "Event Omega", AKA "Dirty Muffins", AKA many different names, AKA the author of the official JBO Performance FAQ, has put together a very impressive FAQ about parts for the J motors and their performance potential. He's tried alot of the parts himself and collected information from everywhere he could find it to assemble in one place. A large majority of the questions that are asked on a daily basis in the performance forum are actually already answered in that thread.

It's not all that bad, really. Everyone was a newbie at one point or another. Just remember some very important points and you'll survive just fine:

Even if you get here through AOL, this is NOT AOL. Check the "OMGLOLZ! HI2U!" and "A/S/L?!?" at the door please. MixEd cAsE TyPinG iS HaRd 2 ReAd AnD AnnOyInG. Try your best to "speak" intelligibly. Threads littered with AOL-sp33k, or a lack of basic grammar, punctuation or spelling skills are at best ignored. At worst they are ridiculed mercilessly.

JBO is not run by Jerry Springer. Nobody likes drama. Nobody likes attention whores. We're all here for the same reason so let's at least TRY to get along. Fighting over the internet is EXTREMELY lame. When you don't agree with someone, "omg u r lame u fag!!!" is probably not the best way to respond. We don't want to have to send our e-Steve after you.

This is the J-Body Organization. You're not the only one with a J. Before you ridicule someone else's car, walk out to your garage and take a long hard look at what you are driving. Nobody is signing up and spending alot of time here because they drive a BMW, Ferrari or Bentley.

"Rice" is played out. Nobody really wants to hear it anymore. If you don't like it, don't put the big wing on your car. Don't spend your money on the bling-bling wheels or the body kit. But just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's "rice". "Rice" to the owner of that car might be sleepers, or Chameleon paint jobs or who knows what. It's an opinion thing and there's a lot better ways to express it.

Racing - Street Racing bad, race tracks good. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

108mph - Yes that's it. GM did that for a reason, and no that reason was not to irritate you. Your car is simply not designed to safely go that fast or, more importantly, STOP from going that fast. Please don't ask about removing this limit in the forums, as your question will only be ignored, deleted or locked.

Last, don't be "that guy". By "that guy" I'm sure you think you can figure out what I mean, but there's more to it than that. The internet, and other forms of comptuer messaging have been around for a long time. I've been doing this sort of thing since the days of 110 and 300 baud dialup BBS's in the early 80's. Some things never change. There are always flame wars. There are always idiots and know-it-alls. There are always disagreements, and "that guy" has been a staple here forever. Over 15 years ago, while running a dialup BBS I started talking to other local "sysops" and we figured out a pattern. It seems newbies come and go in waves that are as predictable as the seasons. Their schedule is below. The descriptions are obviously updated to modern terms. That schedule is intended to be tongue-in-cheek humor, not insulting. As you read it, I'm sure you can begin to understand why people would tire of newbies. It's not you's nothing personal...we're just afraid that you could be one of these seasonal annoyances. If you read it and you fit one of the descriptions, take this as constructive criticism.
Newbies Almanac wrote:Then each year you have the inevitable flood of newbs to every service at specific times of year:
  • September, for the beginning of the school year and all the super-duper "IRsmrt" college kids and their shiny new Dells checking out the internet through the school's network and getting on all of our nerves. Moving from their 14.4K dialup at home to a dorm network must be a nice change, but really should come with an owner's manual. Higher bandwidth doesn't make you smarter, or more of a majority. It just makes it easier for you to annoy us more.
  • I HATEhateHATEhateHATE Christmas on the internet. Good god there aren't words for my disdain for the Christmas swell of n00bs. That's because everyone and their grandmother is getting a shiny new Dell and thinks they're Johnny @!#$ Mnemonic because they can figure out how to plug it into the phone line and stick in an AOL CD. Those morons usually pollute IRC, forums, newsgroups and file sharing services well into February. I swear if one more toolbag sends me a message on WinMX offering me "those illegal Metallica MP3's you can't get anymore" I'm gonna send them up the bomb!
  • Don't even get me started on Valentine's Day. The afore-mentioned Christmas idiots on their shiny new Dells think I really need to have every email with a heart, puppy, angel or baby in it forwarded to ME. I don't know who started that @!#$, but they need to be strung up by the short hairs.
  • Spring Break...what can I say? Not EVERY kid gets falling-down drunk in Daytona. Some go home, and while they're there they tell Mom and Dad about how their computer isn't up to snuff, or whatever...and head back to school with a shiny new Dell (see above). Lather, rinse, repeat.
  • June. Oh, god not June. It's graduation time. Little Timmy just graduated high school and Mommy and Daddy decide that he's been SO patient doing his homework on the family's 486SX all these it's time to give him a shiny new Dell and cable internet service to go along with it. Forget Johnny Mnemonic...this 17 year old brain surgeon is ZeroCool and just hacked the @!#$in Gibson! No chat room is safe. No forum has enough moderators. No ToS is off limits. It's the end of the world as we know it
  • The middle to the end of the summer...FINALLY, a break. This is the time of year when the sun is out long enough each day to remind these dolts, trolls, dweebs and newbs that there is actually a life OUTSIDE and some of them actually do something with it. It's just enough of a break for us to collect our senses in time for the beginning of the school year and start all over again.
Again, welcome to JBO. We hope you enjoy your stay here.


Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Friday, October 21, 2005 7:42 AM

Racing - Street Racing bad, race tracks good. And that's all I'm gonna say about that

thats the SHORTEST you've EVER said about that certain topic Mr. Jimmythe-LongWind-Z

Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Friday, November 04, 2005 5:17 AM
hmmm, good one. but will the newbs read it???

Im a Xbox 360 fanboy...and damn proud of it!!
Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Thursday, January 05, 2006 12:55 AM
what new is ognna read this..shouldsnt have put "an owners manual" 90% of people dont even read the owners manual to their car lol (including me)

MY 2003 SUNFIRE 15.63@87.86mph

"A N/A ecotec is not gonna give Honda's and Mitsu's that much of a run for their
money unless their blown or bottle fed.GM is still smokin crack!"
~1QWKZ24, 08/2001
Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Friday, February 24, 2006 6:22 PM
Only thing it's missing is...

FILL IN YOUR PROFILE! We can't give you accurate answers to your questions if we don't know what kind of engine, suspension, etc you have.

Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Sunday, March 05, 2006 9:57 AM
^^^ that one is a biggie

Nice write up Joe.

Fatalic CAVI wrote:Sorry dude, but homemade and nitrous don't go over to well with me.<br>There are certain things you just shouldn't be cheap with,<br>like: condoms, toilet paper, chinese food and nitrous kits!

Re: <b>Newbies: An Owner's Manual</b>
Saturday, February 03, 2007 5:42 PM
SO yeah I am new here and there is one thing I want to say - there are some serious @$$holes on here. I admit I am fairly new to this and have gotten into working on my car since I graduated. I came here to ask questions and to learn. Instead I get treated like @!#$ by people like "DaFlyinSkwirl (PJ) - BPU++" and "BlownBlackZ" I mean honestly when I found this place I thought it was going to be honest and great with people like me instead I find harsh criticism enough to make me not even want to be a part of it - maybe the site should concider splitting the "newbs" and the gods of motor vehicles. Telling someone they are stupid and not quit their dayjob doesnt help anyone. I hope someone finds this useful or may moderators may hear this cry and concider developing a section for the elites so they wont treat others like @!#$ anymore.
Re: <b>Newbies: An Owner's Manual</b>
Monday, February 05, 2007 8:24 AM

I'm new here and just finished reading the post.

Lots of interesting food for thought here, it's always nice to be able to find input from different folks on the same topic-gives me food for thought, if nothing else.

I look forward to enjoying the help offered here in the coming months, perhaps one day I may even be able to offer someone else a hand, who knows?

I'm going to spend some free time the next few days learning my way around the forums so I hopefully don't have to repeat any of the dumb questions.

Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 5:58 PM
Whats up, yes i'm new but i've been reading alot up here for a few weeks now. First off sorry if i piss any1 off. I plain on staying here for a long time. Its nice to meet people with the same joy in fixing up,racing,showing,ect, jbodys. Theres not alot off people were i live with jbodys. at least not people wanting to meet others. Theres a few but there all air force and ship off before u can form a real good friendship. Im ARMY RES. and know what its like. So if u have any friends in the sand box drop them as my letters as u can hering from people is what keeps u wanting to make it home ,it keepes u thinking straight. Anyway if theres any1 in the NC near wilson, goldsboro, raleigh, wilmington let me know.
Well Ill shutup, sorry. Have a good1.

Life is to short 4 bulls#*$.
Willpower is no match 4 horsepower!
Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Monday, October 29, 2012 8:13 PM
I've been reading on here for awhile. I am a "noob" this was kinda helpful hopefully some Vets read it as well...

2000 Pontiac Sunfire GT
2.4L TwinCam (DOHC)
5 speed manual

All stock for now...
Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Sunday, November 25, 2012 9:21 AM
HI im new to this site and i was wondering where the salvage yard of sunbird a cavilier parts is at if anyone know please let me know think you.

Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Tuesday, April 04, 2017 8:29 PM
how do I write my own forum or thread? not even sure which to call it but how do I make a post with my own questions so I can get help?
Re: Newbies: An Owner's Manual
Monday, August 28, 2017 9:14 AM
Thank you for the info .. ttyl
Forum Post / Reply
You must log in before you can post or reply to messages.


Start New Topic Advanced Search